what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
