I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
