I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
