Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
