Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
