So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
