I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
