Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So I just went to clothing optional bar
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
