Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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