Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
