We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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