we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
