they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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