She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i will never coherently bang her
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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