I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
