i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
