I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You can't just leave with hair like that
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Randomize
