Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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