my mouth tastes like poor choices
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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