I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
