I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Everything about him screamed your future.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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