Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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