he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
