I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
