Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
