this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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