dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
