I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
