i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
