I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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