Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
