dude i'm inner monologue high
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
