my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
