marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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