Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
