Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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