After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
