do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
