Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I look better un-naked...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
