Is it normal to miss your booty call?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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