Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.

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(281): View more from Texas

Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?

(408): View more from California

JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma

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(812): View more from Indiana

He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this

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