I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
