I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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