Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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