Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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