thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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