I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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