My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
