Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
