White coat. Heels.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
