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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  Welcome to every minute of my life.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  you sound like my dream girl

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses

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• (562): View more from California

  The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."

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• (707): View more from California

  You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation

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• (954): View more from Florida

  On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?

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• (361): View more from Texas

  Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?

  (830): View more from Texas

  It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker

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