it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
