I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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