So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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