Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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