i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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