that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
