Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize