You really coming over, don't trick.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
