Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
