sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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