She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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