I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
