Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
