Umm I'm too high to move.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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