Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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