She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
