Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize