I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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