plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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