He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
