Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
