People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize