You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Damn victory sex feels great
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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