He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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