Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
