I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
