i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize