Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
