If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
